It is time for me to break the silence

My name is Peculiar, I am HIV positive and this is my true story. A few years back I noticed some signs and symptoms of ill health that lingered more than normal despite the medications I took. I became anxious and I decided to see a doctor; who after listening to my

complaint, wrote out some laboratory tests for me to run. He also encouraged me to meet the HIV Counselling and Testing Team.

My husband had died six years ago and I have had no sexual partner since then; so I had no worries that I could test positive. The HIV Counselling and Testing was done but unfortunately I tested positive. I was given detailed information on how to start treatment but I was totally devastated, scared and speechless so I walked away. The nearest option for me was to take my life. When I got home, I quietly went to my room and starred endlessly at the ceiling.
   
I tapped myself severally to ascertain that it was all a dream, but the picture kept playing in my mind throughout that day. “How could this be true, that I am HIV positive?” I asked myself. The effect left me shaking intermittently as the days passed. Sometimes, I mopped at either particular object or at anyone. I was far from discussing this problem with anybody. “I must not let anyone know”, I told myself. One remarkable thing I did on that fateful day was that I took a photograph as a reminiscence of my past self hence I was seeing myself as a ‘living corpse’ from that day I found out my HIV status.
Two months after, my health condition worsened and I began to see all those symptoms that manifested on my husband some months before his death. It dawned on me that he could have died of AIDS where as we believe he died as a result of poison. It was at this point that I told my mother and she took me back to the hospital where I ran that test. God so kind, they were gracious to have me back and placed me on HIV treatment. They requested me to bring my three lovely kids for screening which I did and they all tested negative.
After a few weeks into the treatment, my condition started improving and I started singing a new song to the amazement of everybody who knew and saw me when I was ill. The health worker taught me how to observe some precautions to ensure that my children do not contract the virus from me. They also taught me how to live positively with the virus. I have been taking my Anti retro-viral drugs every day and have been pursuing and actualizing my dreams.

To the glory of God, that I, who would have been long forgotten, is healthy and kicking, as well as bringing succor to people with similar cases. I chose to share this on Buchi’s Care Blog today, the World AIDS Day; to tell the world that testing positive to HIV is not a death sentence. Rather, the wrong actions taken after testing positive to HIV leads to death.
Anti retro-viral drugs Devastated HIV Counselling and Testing HIV/AIDS Living corpse METANOIA Precautions Scared Speechless